dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The struggles of a small town man whore
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
