Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
