Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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