I am in a vortex of obligation.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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