How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
