fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You're a waste of cheezeits
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
