he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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