the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im having a threesome with these popsicles
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
