Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
