I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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