I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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