you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
