The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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