You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
