Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
