You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
im on a boat
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