Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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