He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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