So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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