So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
