It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
