Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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