You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
