i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
