I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
