im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
