Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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