I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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