tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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