The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
