I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
