Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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