eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
