i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
