Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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