Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This baby is an asshole
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
