I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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