so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
