i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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