I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
