She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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