Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
