You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
