just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
