People in love make me want to vomit
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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