Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
