I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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