Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
