I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
