Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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