Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Come see our sink grown plant.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
