i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
