the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
