mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
