we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
vagina is talking i cant
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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