1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
