yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
