that's an acceptable place to lick
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
