We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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