Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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