brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
