Your dad touched me again.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
